WEIGHT 9/05/11

My weight at 11pm on mon 9th of May was 17.8 stone (111.6 kg)

Ate wrong stuff again over the weekend as well as drinking friday and saturday evening really really feel iam letting myself down, i feel low i drink and eat, i gain weight feel lower then drink an eat again, i really have to snap out of this circle, my only hope at the moment or should i say the only thing i look forward to is getting back to work and eventually start walking and exercising again. Its so frustrating still not being able to walk a distance without feeling pain in the right groin and thigh, even a shopping trip causes the pain.

My bmi is 36.31 which is still obese

Tags: bmi, overweight, diet

Not proud of myself at all drank at the weekend again

Its very hard to want to write the bad stuff about yourself and certainly not at times when your not feeeling on top of the world, but by doing this i hope when/if things get better i can look back on this as a reminder not to come back again to this way of living. Yes still not feeling great but hopefully i start work on thursday which will give me a kick up the backsisde. I was really hoping by now that i would be comenting on how my weight loss program is going how much ive lost and how good i feel with the exercise but iam still in too much pain in the right thigh groin area to even walk great distances without any pain even a trip round asda hurts.
So with the lack of exercise and the weight gain i just feel iam spiraling deeper and deeper and now drinking and eating more isnt helping at all i really need to see some light at the end of the tunnel but its just not working.
After going on the stress control courses on a thursday now it has made me realise iam showing signs of depression there is loads of little things and i suppose major to but ive realised how little i have done in the last 6 weeks while being signed off and that isnt me at all, normally i would at least have a go at a little cleaning ect but ive just let the house get in a mess. Regarding myself i aways bath or shower every single day but ive found myself leaving it for 2 or 3 days i know its not much but it isnt me at all, then there is the feeling my life at the moment is dead busy and ive done loads during the day, but when i look back ive done nothing at all, i cant even be bothered to open letters ive just let things pile up. Strange but while typing this i thought maybe i should mention this at stress course and see what they have to say.
I cant help but feel sorry for the people who are housebound and cant get out, ive been signed off six weeks since last op and i cant describe how its doing my head in especially when iam so active normally, i just should stop feeling selfish i suppose but it is hard.

tags: drepresion, drinking, stress, stress control, self help, motivation

FEELING LOW 04 05 11

As i mentioned on main blog page today ive not been feeling to great over the last week or so seem to have hit a low spot hence why nothing has been put up. Its still too painful to walk and i still cant exercise so find it pointless doing this page maybe i was too keen to get going and started it too early. With not feeling great in myself i had a few bottles of wine sat and sun eve and my diet has been bad with chocs and ice cream, i think you call it a treat but there not treats at all, still that didnt stop me treating myself.
I did start a six week stress control program last thursday hopefully this should help me start to get my mind on track if nothing else.Last week dealt with progressive muscular relaxation (PMR) and relaxation i did find it very usefull, hopefully thing will start to feel better.

My weight at 11pm last night has gone up to 16.13 (107.5kg) which is heading totally in the wrong direction

this gives me a BMI of  34.98 which is classed as obese just to make me feel better : )

tags: bmi, weight, stress, stress control, dr jim white, pmr, progressive muscular relaxation