Its very hard to want to write the bad stuff about yourself and certainly not at times when your not feeeling on top of the world, but by doing this i hope when/if things get better i can look back on this as a reminder not to come back again to this way of living. Yes still not feeling great but hopefully i start work on thursday which will give me a kick up the backsisde. I was really hoping by now that i would be comenting on how my weight loss program is going how much ive lost and how good i feel with the exercise but iam still in too much pain in the right thigh groin area to even walk great distances without any pain even a trip round asda hurts.
So with the lack of exercise and the weight gain i just feel iam spiraling deeper and deeper and now drinking and eating more isnt helping at all i really need to see some light at the end of the tunnel but its just not working.
After going on the stress control courses on a thursday now it has made me realise iam showing signs of depression there is loads of little things and i suppose major to but ive realised how little i have done in the last 6 weeks while being signed off and that isnt me at all, normally i would at least have a go at a little cleaning ect but ive just let the house get in a mess. Regarding myself i aways bath or shower every single day but ive found myself leaving it for 2 or 3 days i know its not much but it isnt me at all, then there is the feeling my life at the moment is dead busy and ive done loads during the day, but when i look back ive done nothing at all, i cant even be bothered to open letters ive just let things pile up. Strange but while typing this i thought maybe i should mention this at stress course and see what they have to say.
I cant help but feel sorry for the people who are housebound and cant get out, ive been signed off six weeks since last op and i cant describe how its doing my head in especially when iam so active normally, i just should stop feeling selfish i suppose but it is hard.
tags: drepresion, drinking, stress, stress control, self help, motivation
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